13 Comments
User's avatar
Roman Newell's avatar

Susie! A lot of valuable information and thought provoking material here. I really appreciate that you examined both sides of the gender aisle. Thanks. -R

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Indeed, I have observed that men also face significant challenges due to overcompensation.

Expand full comment
Azeezah Oguntayo's avatar

I've learned what overcompensation means on an intricate level and I'm going to be cautious about investing so much in relationships of any form to the instant that it leaves me feeling lonely and exhausted.

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Yes I feel you Azeezah!! Now that you are clear of what kind of relationship you want, I am sure you will manifest one soon enough🤗❤️

Expand full comment
QuYahni B Joseph's avatar

I’m not even done reading this yet, but

“It’s become such a normal aspect of our daily lives that we hardly realize how it influences what we do. Whether we're tiptoeing around a failing relationship, pushing ourselves to be flawless at work, putting our own needs aside for family, or constantly trying to please others, this tendency to mask our insecurities with extra effort turns into a habit. It’s like a soft hum that just fades into the background of our daily activities.”

Girl — ya in my biznis. Cuz menopause is LOUD in my body and if ever I was overcompensating in the past (all my life), the urge and attempt is now magnified, but my soul is so over it that I’m yielding more than expected.

Like telling my husband how I did not sleep last night b/c of a scary show we watched before bed, how I would have considered myself weak for being affected by it and would have kept it to myself so he wouldn’t also see me as weak, how I would normally be afraid to ask him to watch it elsewhere so that my mind could rest, the peace of taking that tiny little stand and not caring if he was bothered by it or not, only to find his response very supportive and comforting.

Little shit like that has had me in chains for decades. You’re right. It has to stop. Let me finish reading …

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Hello QuYahni 👋

I am so happy this post reached to you and you chose to open it😊

Although I am young, but I can completely see and understand where you are coming from.

We women always put our partners before ourselves because of our motherly nature, its just how we are wired. But this is actually very unfair for us.

You are very brave to open up about how you put up with things that bothered you. Communication and boundaries are the key. I am sure it's never too late to re-invent ourselves as many times as we wish and start loving ourselves more than we love our partners. Please share this post with your friends, who might need it too. I am so happy to know my writing made sense to you. Sending you huge hugs and love.🤗💗💗💗💗

Expand full comment
QuYahni B Joseph's avatar

Thank you for that. I’m sharing for sure 💪🏽

Expand full comment
Gala's avatar

such an incredibly interesting post, filled with important reflections on relationships, family, and work.

This resonated with me: You should never have to perform for basic love; it's your birthright. As I've navigating difficult situations with my family lately, I needed to read this.

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Gala! 🤗

I am so happy my writing resonated with you and could provide that comforting touch.❤️ Thank you honey.❤️

Expand full comment
Emilie Mendham's avatar

Susie this is so amazing! I’ve loved it all ❤️

Expand full comment
Joyful Sarcasm's avatar

Susie, it's clear that you've invested a great deal of time and thought into this piece, and it truly shows. Your exploration of overcompensation in relationships, family, and work is both insightful and relatable. The metaphors you use, like the tree stretching beyond its limits, really resonate with me. The questions you pose at the end of each chapter are incredibly thought-provoking and will make excellent journal prompts for me. They'll definitely help me reflect on my own experiences and patterns. Thank you for sharing such an informative and impactful article!

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Kathryn!!!❤️❤️❤️

You have no idea how encouraging these words are. I now feel a great sense of relief. Tbh I was really worried, I would offend a lot of people by this newsletter, since these are thoughts of a young person who is not a parent yet. But I see such settings in everyday life, where people don't even realize they are overcompensating.

I am adopting your idea of using these questions as journal prompts myself. Sending hugs.🤗😘

Expand full comment
Susie Myerson's avatar

Thank you for reading Emilie! ☺️❤️

Expand full comment